Today

Today has been one of those days that I wish wouldn't have happened at all. But...it did. And now I have to learn from it.

It's Saturday. I had anticipated relaxing...doing nothing...taking it easy. Eh...not so much.

So I woke up around 10:30 to the sounds of Lyndsay doing the laundry. As I rolled out of bed, she was about to go running. I need to be running, and I hate doing it by myself so I decided to join her. So within 10 minutes of waking up, I literally hit the ground running. As soon as we got back we went to work finishing the caulking and painting job on the crown molding we put in two weekends ago. This project is one that has sucked up our free time...and still isn't even halfway done. As I was working on the caulking, I felt myself getting irritated and tired. It wasn't going very quickly. So Lyndsay and I talked about it, and she decided she would caulk, since she actually enjoys it...and I would work on this massive project that I'm doing for Accounting class (it's due tuesday and I have a loooong way to go).

As I'm about to get started, I find myself irritated with the way the day was going. I wasn't relaxing. I wasn't having any fun...heck, I hadn't even stopped to sit since I woke up 3 or four hours ago! I was not very happy. So I decided to watch an episode of "The Office" to help me relax. At the 11 minute mark, I heard a "pop" come from downstairs and the music Lyndsay had been listening to stopped.

I ran down...and to my shock and horror...saw my iPod floating just below the surface of the water in my washing machine! I had left it open on accident, looking for one last pair of socks to go in the load that I never found, forgot about, and walked off. Lyndsay had come over and changed a playlist, not noticed the open washer, and set the iPod back in it's resting spot...teetering precariously above the washing machine plugged in to some speakers.

I freaked out and started running around my house. I whipped out some screwdrivers and popped my iPod open, grabbed Lyndsay's hairdryer and started frantically trying to dry out the pieces of the iPod. It was soaked. The screen, the hard drive, the battery...the WHOLE thing.

As if I hadn't already been moping around enough already, feeling sorry for myself and all...now it went to the next level...as if my favorite pet had just died or something. Woe is me, my life is terrible, and so on.

Lyndsay was a trooper. She kept on caulking and actually finished the rest of the house! (Now all we have to do is paint it all!) The whole time she could have told me what a Debbie Downer I was being...but she just ignored my whining and kept working diligently.

So here's the lesson:

So then we went to church (yay for Saturday Night Church!!) and read Nehemiah 3. It's possibly the most boring book in the bible. Go read it. It's worse than Matthew 1. But we've been studying Nehemiah...so this was the week for chapter 3.

Anyway, it was all about rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. The city was being rebuilt, and everyone was pitching in. They decided it was time to do get the job done, and they did it. Men and even women, entire families and groups from different areas working together. Except one group. In verse 5, the Tekoites made repairs to a section of the wall...but their nobility wouldn't do any work.

Way to rain on the party Tekoite nobles! Most everyone who was in Jerusalem volunteered to travel to Jerusalem initially to rebuild the city...so why are these people not okay doing the rebuilding they most likely signed up to do?!

Who knows their reason. Were they tired because they'd worked a hard 40 hour week and planned on taking that time to relax? Were they upset over the recent failure of their personal music device? Could have been. I mean that's devastating to a person, right?

Yeah--if you're a total pansy. As I read through that scripture and it began to sink in, I immediately began to feel bad for being the whiny loser I had been all day. Whose idea was it to start the crown molding project two weekends ago? Me. All me. Who should have been helping today but wasn't satisfied with the slow way things were developing, so he quit? Me again.

So at this point I feel bad for copping out on the job after I'd only done half of it and dump it off for my wife to work on the other half (side note: Lyndsay turns out to be better at caulking than me anyhow). And I feel bad for being so pitiful over the loss of "stuff"...something that is replaceable (even if it's not cheap). I let my own self pity completely cripple me.

But as guilty as I felt, I still felt tired. I never got a break the whole day. I went straight from iPod CPR to church. So if I could just get the breaks that I need when I think I need them, I'd be able to handle everything, right?! That's what I told myself, refusing to admit that I may not have been justified in my desires to relax on this day that I had predetermined was for relaxing, and not "working."

So as the final blow to my pride and my selfishness, God gave me an evening devotion from "My Utmost for His Highest" (an excellent daily devotional if you've never read it). Today's excerpt was about spiritual exhaustion (Isaiah 40:28). He made a couple of interesting statements that caught my attention because I agree--and it's not cliche stuff you'd expect from reading too many devotionals. First, "Spiritual exhaustion never comes through sin but only through service, and whether or not you are exhausted will depend upon where you get your supplies."

So...it's not my fault I'm exhausted. But it IS my fault that I'm still exhausted. Another interesting point: "Jesus said to Peter - "Feed My sheep," but He gave him nothing to feed them with." Hm...So what then shall I do, Oswald? You have my attention.

"Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? If so, then rally your affections. Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually go back to the foundation of your affections and recollect where the source of power is. You have no right to say - "O Lord, I am so exhausted." He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him."

Ah yes. The ever present reminder that maybe just maybe the fact that I spent so much time worrying about myself and about the things of life like my job and my iPod...that I totally forgot to spend time asking God what I should be doing. Because in all my busyness this week, the one thing that I almost completely neglected was to spend time with God...reading the Bible, praying, etc. And so when I got "worn out"...I had no way of handling it.

Hm. Such an interesting idea for me to ponder. And do something about.

You know, it's pretty late right now...but I already feel better.

:)